Anita Stephen, Founder Of Progressive Pathways Consulting, On The Real Difference Between Wanting To Lead And Being Ready To Lead

Wanting to lead and readiness to lead are distinct and at points overlap, as if they go hand-in-hand. Often, the desire to lead is mistaken for readiness. The simplicity stems from ideas that suggest you’ll know when you’re ready (which usually means, when you want something). It isn’t quite that clear-cut. Wanting something is different from being ready for it. A thirteen-year-old may want to drive, but are they really ready for it? 

I think in today’s world, we spend a lot of time affirming people. We use ‘leadership’ as a buzzword, something that we’re all capable of. We say ‘just believe in yourself,’ ‘you’ve got what it takes,’ ‘you can do it.’ We toss these phrases of affirmation to ourselves or those around us, who may be considering whether to take up that leadership position, or without even assessing whether we’re ready for leadership. It’s an interesting conundrum. 

We define readiness to lead and wanting to lead based on how we interpret leadership. Authoritative more hierarchical leadership models came about in the early 1900s, and were made popular by the likes of Karl Weber. There was a need for it too. In times of war and crisis, decisiveness and clarity in direction were heralded qualities, even at the expense of psychological safety. In a time of difficulty, when there is much navigation or steering at the helm that’s needed, it may well be that authoritative leadership is needed. Recent examples of when an authoritative stance was helpful were when the COVID pandemic broke out. The then Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, acted decisively and enforced lockdowns, which helped keep infections in New Zealand at a low level. She infused empathy into this, which helped people understand why they needed to follow directions. When Rudy Giuliani was the Mayor of New York City, his strong response to the 9/11 attacks helped the people of New York through a deadly crisis. His strong, top-down approach, which was lauded at the time, gave New Yorkers some regulation during uncertain times. Jacinda Ardern and Rudy Giuliani were ready to step into situations that were demanding and deliver responses that met the need. 

Juxtaposing the model of authoritative leadership against servant-leadership is perhaps a helpful step in answering the question. Servant-leadership is, at its core, the idea that leadership begins with a desire to serve, not lead. In the 1990s-2000s, servant-leadership grew in popularity, especially among non-profit and faith-based organisations. It is still gaining traction as we navigate the era of entrepreneurism, diversity, and a post-pandemic climate. Jacinda Ardern pops up in this category when we consider her response to the Christchurch mosque shooting in 2019. Her human-centred approach won hearts all over the world. Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft, didn’t step back from taking responsibility for a mistake in how he answered a question. He showed humility in doing so and has been successful in bringing about a transformation in organisational culture through his empathy. Jacinda Ardern and Satya Nadella showed a readiness to put others first, despite whatever discomforts they may have experienced on a personal level. 

The desire to lead should be rooted in the readiness to lead. There is an efficacy within particular contexts for certain styles of leadership. A leader may be required to act according to the needs of the day. Wanting to lead alone isn’t enough. There is a need to be ready to meet the challenges that come up. 

Going back to how we affirm people these days. I think we should encourage people to be ready for leadership. They should be encouraged to take steps to grow skills that are essential for a good leader so that when there is a need for them to step into a situation that calls for leadership, they’ll be ready. Preparation for leadership will expose an individual to the cost of leadership. The difference between someone who merely wants to lead and someone who is ready to lead is that the latter is equipped and is therefore forearmed. 

Without giving too much away, one of the biggest lessons I had was when I coached someone who was able to express their vulnerability with clarity. Their ability moved me. There was no ego, indignation, or reluctance, but a clear acknowledgement of the challenge. The honesty they brought to the table enabled them to move forward in a meaningful and impactful way. It felt like the clearest demonstration of internal strength, resilience, and grace. I felt waves of respect for them. It’s moved me to be more reflective and honest in my own life, especially where there are weaknesses or failures. I realised that I respected grace in the face of challenge and see it as a superpower. We cannot prevent life from happening.

Change can be harsh. So many things are out of our control. Being in touch with our emotions and showing them respect helps us develop calm composure (grace). It is a skill.